


Riley's Diary

by TheSquiglet



Category: The Next Step
Genre: Gen, I didn't think I'd enjoy this show as much as I do because W O W, I really do, Let's hope I can do Riley's voice okay???, TNS Riley starts around chapter 33!, This is a complete work, To be honest i don't even now how i ended up here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-16
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-08-03 03:45:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 114
Words: 19,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16318505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSquiglet/pseuds/TheSquiglet
Summary: A deeper look into Riley's diary as mentioned in series 2!





	1. Chapter 1

Hi diary! 

This is my diary. My name is Riley, and this is going to be my space.

 I think dinnosaurs are awesom. I am seven. 

 

My best friend is my sister Emily, I think she is nice and we play and laugh together a lot. My sister always makes me feel better when i'm sad. I don't think i need any other best friend. 

Sometimes i like doing homwork but not all the time. I prefer watching my big sister dance. I think i'm going to go play now.

 

BYe diary!

 


	2. Chapter 2

Hi diary!

I went to my sisters compettion and it was so cool! The lights were really pretty and everyone seemed happy to be around us. I like that.

I won a ribbon!

 

bye diary!


	3. Chapter 3

Hi diary!

 

Today I went to school and it was boring!

 

That's all I wanted to say. 

 

Bye diary!


	4. Chapter 4

There is no hi diary.

I don't want to leave second grade. I wanto stay with my friends and my favrite teachers.

I'm really sad. Emily can't even cheer me up. She said to look forward to new things and enjoy the time we spent in that year but move ahead.

I hope third grade is nice and leaves time for these entries. I like writing everything down here! Even Emily says she won't look because it is my space and my space only. I love my big sister. 

I think i am happier to say bye diary!


	5. Chapter 5

Hi diary!

It's my birthday!

I am now one year older and I made a wish on my cake! I wished that Emily and I would always be the same way we are now as sisters and that I would also get a place in dance class. I think I want to be a dancer! yay!

Bye diary!


	6. Chapter 6

Hi diary!

I decided I like 3rd grade!

Bye diary!


	7. Chapter 7

Hi diary!

 

Today Emily and I hung out and it was so much fun. I really enjoy spending time with my big sister. She's very care free (I got that word off of my friend Sammi who said we were funny as siblings) and we laugh constantly. 

Mr Tott said we needed to make a one page story about one of our family and what we like about them. I don't get why but I prefer doing it to math so I kept quiet.

Halloween is coming up and this year we're going as a group trick or treating which I can't wait for.

Bye diary!


	8. Chapter 8

 HI DIARY

 

IT'S HALLOWEEN. I'M SO EXCITED I'M GOING TO KEEP WRITING IN CAPITALS.

I'M READY TO EAT LOTS OF CANDY.

I LOVE HALLOWEEN.

 

BYE DIARY!


	9. Chapter 9

Hi diary

 

I ate way too much candy and I feel sick. Mommy says I shouldn't have eaten everything so fast and this was my own fault. I don't think mom got it. There was so much and I didn't want to waste it all. So I ate.

Mommy told me to be more like Emily and save my chococolat over the next few days as treats so everything lasts longer and I have more desserts. Boo!

Sammi told me that next year she is moving away. I don't want her to move away. Her mom and dad got new jobs in the same building just diferent sections and that means we won't be seeing her because it's so far away they have to move her to a new school and house. We have been friends since first grade. Now we will not be friends.

Emily says we could be pen pals but I don't want to be because I want her to be with me in school not somewhere else. I told her this during recess and she got upset so I said I would make a going away card and go to her party. I hope her party is unlike Oscar's and Linda's. They weren't very fun. 

Bye diary


	10. Chapter 10

Hi diary!

 

Sometimes I think I should stop saying hi diary! but i think that's boring and boring is for grown ups who want to take my best friend away. 

Daddy said I should stop acting like a brat but he doesn't GET it! Sammi's been my friend since the 1st grade and all of a sudden she's just leaving? All because of her mommy and daddy. I asked if we could adopt Sammi but that was not okay to ask her parents. I think it was a fine question. 

Even my sister is saying I'm being silly now which is not FAIR. Emily is meant to be on MY side. She's meant to have MY back. :(

I have to do my English homework before the weekend so I should go do that. 

I don't feel like a happy Riley and I don't think I should be happy.

 

Bye diary. 


	11. Chapter 11

Hi diary!

 

Today was a Sunday and I got to play with my new dolls. I named her Ella. I think Ella is a nice name for a nice person. 

 

Bye diary!


	12. Chapter 12

Hi diary

 

Today is the day Sammi leaves for her new and ~~terribble~~ school. I stood on her driveway after helping her pack and waved as they drove away in their car. It's going to be weird not seeing her after summer. I gave her a card she really liked and she gave me a hug saying it would be hard to forget me.

It's going to be hard to forget her.

 

Bye diary


	13. Chapter 13

Hi diary!

 

I'm still sad about Sammi but I'm less sad now it's all happened. 

I don't know why I would be extra sad because it's now summer! Leaving the grade behind was also lots sad but I'm happier this time to move forward. There were lots more transfers and lots more people who stayed behind for some reason but I didn't like them so that was okay. 

We're going to Disneyland tomorrow! Me, my sister, my parents, my uncle and my grandma all in one massive group. I didn't know whether to bring this with me or not in case it gets stolen or lost but I think it's best to keep it where no one else can see or touch it so you're staying right underneath this bed diary! I can't wait to talk all about it!

 

Bye diary!


	14. Chapter 14

Hi diary!

 

Disneyland was the most fun EVER! We went on all the rides twice and we watched all the shows and had the best time! We celebrated Emily's birthday and our grandma's and I never ever wanted the trip to end! I liked Epcot and Emily liked the parades.

We ran into other families who were also there including Bobby's! We had a nice meal with them. I had pancakes!

I want to go back there already. But we only have one more week until school starts :( so we can't :(. 

I like shopping for new pencil cases though so that should be fun!

 

Bye diary!


	15. Chapter 15

Hi diary!

I got a new pencil case and bookbag! They're both patterns of space!

Bye diary!


	16. Chapter 16

Hi diary!

Grade 4 is tiringggg.

I sent Sammi a postcard like everyone said to to say hi but she hasn't sent anything back yet.

I made a new friend called Kelsey! We both like going to different places and we get to sit next to each other in class!

I think I should invite her round for dinner.


	17. Chapter 17

Hi diary!

I did what I said I would and we had Kelsey round last night which was so cool!

It's almost my birthday again!

Sammi still hasn't sent anything back to me. 

Bye diary!


	18. Chapter 18

Hi diary!

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! Or it was my birthday because the day is now over and I am now nine. Soon I will be going off to big school but that's another year or so away and I don't want to think about it because it makes me sad.

Emily made me a cake! It had space on it because of how much I liked my stationary!

Kelsey came over as well as Bobby and Hannah and Lee but no Sammi still. I talked to Mommy and she said that she sent happy birthday over by email so I wasn't too sad but I was sad because I thought she'd be able to come. Mommy says that sometimes that happens. Whatever. I have Kelsey right now anyways.

We're halfway through grade 4 and I'm so glad because it is so much harder than the last few grades! I'm ready for a break now. 

Bye diary!


	19. Chapter 19

Hi diary!

I've decided that I don't want to keep in touch with people who don't want to keep in touch with me. I'm only nine but I know I don't want to be friends with a ~~stupid~~ person who said she was my ~~best~~ friend but now never replies to my messages.

I don't like being mean. Mom and I are going to spend the day together tomorrow and go out for lunch while dad picks Emily up from extra ballet lessons. I think I want to learn how to dance properly too. Watching Emily is cool and I want that. I'm not sure what style. There's a place Emily goes to which I want to go to called The Next Step but I don't think I want to just yet. I want to get better somewhere else before I go there. 

Bye diary!


	20. Chapter 20

Hi diary!

I thought for a long time I had lost you! After all I only put you underneath my bed when I came back from going with Emily to the new cafe around the corner and all of a sudden a year past!

I was in bits knowing I had lost you, you've been my free space and someone to talk to when I didn't want to talk to anyone. Emily offered to buy me a new one but honestly it didn't feel right.

Strange how a year changes you. I'm only ten but I feel older already. Emily is only two years older then me and she laughed at me saying this. She's talking about how she is going to move onto J-Troupe in a bit but I'm still just not wanting to go to TNS just yet. There's something stopping me. I wish I knew what.

I think I'm only going to write in here now when I feel like it. Not to tell the world about what I ate for lunch or something.

Yeah I think that's a good call

Bye diary! 


	21. Chapter 21

Hi diary!

 

I lost Ella. I lost my most favourite doll! I'm going to ask Emily to help me, I knew I had it when I was playing with Kelsey and Laura yesterday. Maybe I just put her down somewhere

 

Bye diary!


	22. Chapter 22

I'm not even going to hi diary anymore.

Kelsey said that was for babies and I am not a baby.

 


	23. Chapter 23

I asked Emily for help on how people started diary entries when she got home from school seeing as she finished a little later than me now and she said that most people usually started off with dear diary. So I'm going to try that.

Dear Diary,

Kelsey's friendship and I is OVER. I HATE her. 

We looked all over for my doll in my garden, my house and even in my locker at school and we couldn't find it and then we went to her house yesterday for a sleepover and there she was! Sitting on her desk! When I asked her about it she said I clearly wasn't missing it, um hello I was looking all over for it! That was my doll! Not Kelsey's!

Then she said I was cheating on a test on Monday during our Science lesson and got me in trouble! I don't LIKE HER. I got Mommy involved and she said Kelsey was going through some things but me and Mommy said that didn't excuse it. Mommy said that if Kelsey got me in trouble with my teacher's again, she would come to the school herself. Kelsey's mommy bowed her head and then asked to give it back but I didn't want it back so we said it would be best if I just got a new doll and we spent some time apart from each other if we weren't going to be friends anymore. 

Kelsey seemed hurt but I don't care. She was mean and lied to me and now we're not friends. I'm not going to name this doll in case she wants this one back. 


	24. Chapter 24

Dear Diary

I can't decide what I want to plan for my 11th birthday. I asked daddy and he said whatever I wanted but I don't know what I want. I think I want a space party where we all just watch movies about space and then have a sleepover. Daddy said that this one was going to be extra special like Em's because this would be my last year in Elementary school and some of the people I've invited might not be going to the same Junior one.

All I know so far for a fact is that I am NOT inviting Kelsey, everyone says I should forgive her but I don't want to. She accused me of cheating on a test which I didn't and got in trouble with the teachers. And she stole my doll!

I think once I've settled down in big school, I might audition for J-Troupe. It's a lot closer there than it is from our elementary one and I think my dancing has gone further. It'd be cool to see how The Next Step is. And I'd be around my sister which I like. 


	25. Chapter 25

Dear diary

Today's the day! 

Today is the day where I leave Elementary school for good. I'm going off to Junior high and I could not be more nervous or excited. It's going to be so sad leaving all these memories behind but I get to create so much more and I am so ready for it!

<3.


	26. Chapter 26

Dear Diary

My first day at Junior high went so well! I love every single one of the teachers and I'm getting to know so many cool people. The best part is there's no Kelsey in any of my lessons but Laura is in almost every single one!

Another good part is Bobby being most of my classes as well. He is cute.

I went to TNS this weekend to audition for J-Troupe but Kate and Chris (the owner and choreograpgher) said asked why I didn't audition for B instead which had me like whoa! B is only one step away from A which is the highest one in the whole of TNS! They thought I was that good? Only Emily is that good, like she is my inspiration. She's half the reason why I got into doing dance and I really owe it all to her for all the times she let me tag along to classes or made me get up and do the dances with her. 

The best part is that Kate and Chris being so close to the dancers that they'd also heard of me from Emily as well. They laughed because I don't really look or act much anything like my sister, Emily's always been the loudest of the two of us. Kate told me to stay on B for this year, work on building up my skills, come to workshops, come to watch the classes that A-Troupe do and then audition next year!

So I guess I'm going into B-Troupe, just wait til Emily hears!


	27. Chapter 27

Dear diary, 

Today was just a day to relax, have fun and just play the whole day away with Emily. We played cards and then we spent a whole day playing house together. It's nice to see Emily loosen up a little bit more sometimes. She really grew fast into such a mature role. Junior high is honestly a lot harder than I thought it would be, and I thought it was going to be HARD! 

Being on B is really interesting, I'm learning lots but I'm really glad I'm not at the point where I have to compete, I don't think I'm ready for that yet. I don't know Emily is even preparing to go to Regionals. 

Eldon is so weird. Like he's nice, but he's so weird. I see him a lot considering we also go to the same school. I haven't really spent that much time around any of his other friends but I bet they're all weird. Apparently there's this guy who Eldon became friends with at baby ballet classes and he also made it onto B-Troupe with people like Beth (who I am honestly so wary about, something about her just rubs me the wrong way just like K used to) but I don't think I've actually met him properly yet. I mean according to Emily I met him when she was also going to baby ballet classes and I said he was cute or something? I don't think I can even remember that. 

I was five or so at the time Em's. Mom apparently has a bet with both Em's and dad that I'm most likely going to say that again when I see this kid. How though when I don't even remember who he was last time?


	28. Chapter 28

Dear diary,

I can't believe mom found it but she did. She found a really old piece of paper which I'd writen on for some reason or other and she placed it in my diary for me to look at later. My thirteen year old brain has clearly for some reason or another just decided to forget this but this is my handwriting;

_A new boy came to the studio today, he's a little goofy but he's cute. He's really cute. Haha, we'll see ;)_

_Goodbye_

 

God the horrors of reading your old handwriting. 

In all honesty when I was being reintroduced to him, I still think he's cute. He is completely goofier than I could ever give him credit for and seems to make everything a joke in conversation but he's definitely still cute. I might pop that note into an earlier part of this diary. I think it's a nice slice of history and young Riley to have. 


	29. Chapter 29

Dear Diary,

I think what my body is doing right now is kinda gross. Who even thought the term puberty up? Who were they when they decided this?Ew. 


	30. Chapter 30

Dear diary,

Emily and I are fighting over the stupidest of things. All I wanted to do was get my History homework done on time and go to dance not the other way round! Emily can sometimes prioritise dance over everything. If it's not dance then it's not important. I really wish she could come out of that shell. I love dance, I love it but I need to have moments away from the studio. It might be something that helps me shake off the stress and clear the clutter but every day? Even when you feel so ill? I miss carefree Emily a lot and okay maybe I shouldn't have told her that but it doesn't mean that I didn't mean it. 

Hopefully she'll come around. 


	31. Chapter 31

Dear Diary

I don't know why or how I'm still near Kelsey but I thought seeing as we're almost pass that awkward playing with dolls phase, I'd invite her round and we'd okay for old times sake. I'm trying to see past the fact that Kelsey was mean in the past and she actually might be nice now and worked on things or something, besides I'm having so much fun on B-Troupe with everyone that I can't stop talking about it. I think next year I finally might be ready to take on A!

So now all I have to do is wait for Kelsey to turn up at my house tomorrow and we'll have a nice day. And I get to talk to someone who isn't my sister about dance. 


	32. Chapter 32

Dear Diary,

I invited Laura and Bobby to come play with us just in case things got too intense. Kelsey's dad's firm went down and he's having to look for more things elsewhere so I really hope this takes her mind off things and we could maybe start to be friends or something like friends again. We got really close at one point always being around each other's houses and I'm going to try and get that back.

 

 

I hate hormones and I HATE Kelsey! Today I was playing with my new doll and I got it for my birthday from my mommy. I put her down to talk to Laura but when I came back, Kelsey took the doll and was putting it next to her doll but her doll was gross and it had mud on it. I told Kelsey to give it back. She said no way hose so I started to cry. I don't know why I'm so silly sometimes.

I ran out of the bathroom and hit Bobby G. Bobby's so cute. Kelsey took the dolls to the bathroom because she said they were dirty but only her doll was dirty. Kelsey came out of the bathroom with the dolls and tried to give me mine back. I said no because it was dirty and in the end it looked like she never actually cared about wanting to be friends again. She just wanted to try and take another doll from me and hurt my feelings once more. Bobby and I went and played handball and it was the best day ever. Or at least it turned into the best day ever.

Riley XO XO


	33. Chapter 33

Dear Diary,

I think I'm going to do it. I think I can do it. I think I can balance school and family events all together with it.

I'm almost fourteen, all the awkward puberty hormones and stuff has calmed down, Emily seems to have settled into some sort of routine, and it would be nice to properly dance with her and I think I'm completely prepared to do this. 

I'm going to audition for A-Troupe in a couple of weeks.


	34. Chapter 34

Dear Diary,

I did it! I auditioned for A-Troupe! I did it. I didn't think I could do it. But I did.

And I got IN!

We're all going out for celebrations later. But I'm so proud of myself! I worked so hard, and it paid off!

I got onto A-Troupe! I'm an A-Trouper!


	35. Chapter 35

Dear Diary,

A-Troupe is a lot harder than I thought. Don't get me wrong, i love it. Being with my friends, dancing and having fun but it is hard. There's a lot of pressure to deliver.

It's so weird to see the people I left behind in B, like I'll be walking through the hallway and there'll be West (who out of everyone seems to be happy staying there for some reason? I guess maybe he thinks it wasn't his year or something) and he'll just wave then slide into Studio B ready for class.

Then I think about Beth who was so ready to get into where I am now, and she absolutely killed it but she just doesn't get on somehow. I don't know. Maybe I'm overthinking all of this. 


	36. Chapter 36

Dear diary,

 

I'm not really sure how I feel about being in the E Girls. It's nice to be a part of a group but sometimes it just feels awkward. For now I'm happy to be a part of it and to be with my sister and my friends on A. 


	37. Chapter 37

Dear diary,

 

Our grandmother died.

 

 


	38. Chapter 38

Dear diary,

I'm glad the E-Girls are here to help Emily and I through this. I feel like a shell. We were both really close to her.


	39. Chapter 39

Dear diary,

I really wish I could get past this. I don't even want to dance right now. The funeral's next week. 


	40. Chapter 40

 

 

I just want her back.


	41. Chapter 41

Dear diary,

The funeral went well. I was okay, and so was Emily. We'll all be okay in the long run. It's just hard to imagine life without her. Emily and I are going to go back to the studio tomorrow if we can. It'd be good to get back into it. She'd want us to. 


	42. Chapter 42

Dear diary,

Stepping back into the studio was nice. The E-Girls are really helping us out. Sometimes I do get a bit wary around them especially when we hang out as a group both in and out of the studio for many different reasons like I'll say something and Tiffany wants to know exactly what I meant. Steph will laugh at any of us that do something embarrassing or just back up Emily who's sort of like the ring leader. Giselle is the only one who I feel like I could talk to and not feel that awkwardness. Well I guess maybe not ringleader but definitely something to that extent with Em's. She is a good leader in general. You know she does have that take charge and people really listen to her a lot. It feels a bit like a clique (the girls I mean) but I don't want to ditch them. You know it's my sister and my friends at the dance studio who have really helped us out for the past few weeks or so. I'm not going to throw all that back in their faces. 

Even James and Eldon have been calm. Calmer than usual which is pretty calm. They've taken our bags to put in our cubbies and not let anyone run after us when we needed a moment to ourselves. I'm pretty grateful. I feel like I needed people to rely on and the people in that studio really did that for us. Kate and Chris are always there if we need an ear as well, I really hope we can carry on that legacy of all being there for each other no matter what situation we're in. 


	43. Chapter 43

Dear diary,

I feel like Emily and I are back to normal, or at least as normal as we could be after grandma. We're going shopping on the weekend as well so that'll be nice, and James and Eldon decided out of no-where chose to walk me home seeing as Emily made dance captain so I'm looking forward to talking to her about all of that. I'm looking forward to preparing our routines for Regionals.


	44. Chapter 44

Dear diary,

We just started rehearsals for Regionals and somehow already I'm exhausted. The weekend with the girls was good. Fun.


	45. Chapter 45

Dear diary,

Okay so apprently to get to Regionals we need to go to qualifiers? So Emily, Kate and Chris are deciding with who to put in that. I really hope we can do it. 

School with A-Troupe is a whole other ball game. I feel like my grades are slipping so I might miss practise or take my homework to practise and talk to Kate and Chris on what to do about it because I feel like I need to keep everything in order and together.

Honestly the best part about this week is Emily having passed her driving test! I'm proud of her. I better stop writing and get to practise.


	46. Chapter 46

Dear diary,

We lost our qualifiers. I'm devastated for all of us but Kate and Chris seem to be taking it extra hard. After all they said it was their job to get us there but Emily won't have any of that talk. She said we did our job, and we just lost out this year. They were all incredible and we just weren't quite there with the competition yet. So let's keep enjoying our dancing this year with some small competitions, build our strengths up further and come back next year harder. We could do it. 

It was the most mature I've ever seen my sister be. In that moment I knew we could come back stronger. We're not going to wallow. We can come back from this. Kate and Chris are great leaders, and Emily really led the team. 

At least I can focus on my school work a lot more now. 


	47. Chapter 47

Dear diary,

I've been thinking maybe I should take a break. Not from school or A-Troupe but from this. I've been writing in this so much I think maybe I should stop for a bit. Not for ever but enough of a break for me. I feel like I've bled so much of me here I'm sometimes forgetting to spend more time with the people I love and the people that I value. So I guess for now bye diary! 


	48. Chapter 48

I'm back!

Having that break from this felt good. I really needed it. I feel like now I'm happy to put my thoughts and feelings back into this when I know it's too much for anyone else (or if I want anyone else or not to listen to me)

So where should I start because I guess this is kind of an interesting update.

I turned fifteen recently that was fun. I spent it at the studio and everyone threw me a lovely party all planned by Emily, and I am finding school much easier to work with A. I've worked out a system and I've made sure I've stuck to it. If I was a superhero, I think my name would be get it done girl. I'm always getting things done and on time. I think it's a really cool skill, useful y'know. Emily kinda scoffed. 

Grade 15 = completely overwhelming at times but really good actually. Despite trying to keep everything together it's really fun and I do love learning a lot. I've got a good group of friends, but I don't really have a best friend. There's not really anyone who I really click that well with or want to tell anyone all my gossip with. I feel like I want a best friend but then I feel like I'm betraying Emily by saying that seeing as we're really close.

But you know she has a best friend and that's Stephanie. I don't know whether I feel jealous of it or not, all I know is that I would like a best friend to share inside jokes with, and talk to besides just the E-Girls. But that's all just kinda wishful thinking I guess.

We went on some really lovely holidays, visited grandma's grave and made sure it was clean and nice and just hanging out with Emily. She's just been a lot less than back to when we were younger. Mom said she always expected that out of the two of us. I just feel like she might put too much pressure on herself or something but according to Mom and dad this is fairly normal. Dad was like this a lot when he was growing into himself. 

Ever since my grandma passed away, I feel like James has been keeping an eye on me (especially since of those days where it was fairly recent, I didn't just run out of the studio, I ran out of the building) and is just softer some days around me sometimes just asking how I am, how my day's been or how school is. It's kinda weird actually. Sweet in a way but also weird. We've barely interacted before and ever since grandma he's watching over me. 

I guess the last thing to update on is that A-Troupe auditions are tomorrow, no spot is guaranteed and I think it's fair that people have to re-audition, you can't have us getting lazy and you know I think I would feel kinda wrong if we filled a spot we didn't work for or earn. But between you and me, I really hope I get back in.


	49. Chapter 49

Auditions went well! I got in again! I'm back in A-Troupe. It's another year to be with my friends, visit Squeezed together and just have fun as a team. You know it's cool. 

The new girl is awesome by the way. Her name's Michelle, we're the same age only she's about three months older than me and she's a lot of fun to be around and she's a really good dancer. Like, really good. Amazing. I'm really glad she's on the same team as us because this year we are going to Regionals. There is no way about it. We're getting there this year.

I might see if I can get Michelle's number, we talked for a good hour or so about how much we loved Brighter Brightest's music and we like going to the park together and I offered to give her a tour of the building and she offered to go shopping together and this was only within a day of knowing each other. A day!

Emily didn't look too happy either. Especially when we found out she was Miss National Soloist. I'm worried she's going to feel threatened or something but she shouldn't be. She's amazing in her own right. If she just works on doing her won thing then that would be so much better. 

The only bad thing about the weekend was Giselle not getting in. I'm happy Chloe got in because she worked really hard for it and she deserves it and so did West and Daniel but Giselle I can't help but feel sorry for, she is A-Troupe material but I don't really know what happened in her audition. All I know is that she's demoted down to B. 

At least there's one thing I can count on never to change and that's James's attempts to get every girl's attention and date them. Like he dated Beth not so long ago (and she's somehow still hung up on him? It's not worth it Beth honestly) and he just uses his ability to dance to get said girls. I'm not falling for it at all. No matter if I thought he's cute in the past or if I think he's still kinda cute and goofy still. Or that he actually when he doesn't try too hard is a genuine sweet person. 

WAIT. 

What am I talking about? I don't like him, why am I talking about him?


	50. Chapter 50

I can't even begin to write about tonight's practise.

I can't.

There aren't words to describe the evening I just had. Or maybe there are. 

Today was the day where we had to decide who the dance captain was. Obviously Emily has been that before and done it well. We knew she could do it but Michelle was also in contention. So we were split into groups and told to do a routine choreographed by both only Emily overworked her dancers. But they still won because Steph threw the dance. She THREW it. Just because I think Emily feels threatened by Michelle. You know, she's a new girl but she's really accomplished in her dancing, she's been Miss National Soloist before and dance captain, and I think it should be decided fairly. You can't just do that but they did. 

I told her it wasn't cool, and I really hate fighting with my sister. It can turn into the biggest of things and sometimes it can take a week or so to blow over but it does blow over. So I'm just going to not argue for now. I'm sure it's just her protective instinct for me kicking in.  I'm just going to go with it. For now anyway. There's nothing much that can come from arguing with her right now. 

The big thing was us fighting and Chris throwing ping pong balls onto the floor and us finally dancing around them. Which we can all thank West for. He got us dancing together as a team. Not doing abs. I'm really glad. We're dancers and that's the reason why we're here. I just hope the next dance lesson isn't so enthusiastic. 


	51. Chapter 51

Did today really just happen?

First I fall down the stairs, lose a shoe underneath the stairs so I'm late for school. Have a pop quiz for Chemistry. Get a C on my History, and then today's dance class happened. 

It feels as if it all mashed into a blur.

I really think more than ever Emily is completely threatened by Michelle. There's no two ways about it. The line positions were changed today and Michelle was put in the back row. The back. Not the front. Who was put in the front despite doing terrible? ME. I didn't deserve that front row spot. Michelle did. It felt wrong, I was constantly two steps behind everyone else, I was freaking out and she just couldn't see how much I was struggling. I was a little confused as to why I was put there. I went up to Kate, and I learnt. Emily planned the line up herself. No input from either of them. Emily put me in the front so her talent wasn't overshadowed by Michelle.

I had to talk to someone about it. I had to. I needed to talk to someone who I know would give me an honest answer and not the ones I wanted to hear. So I went to James. I knew he wouldn't hold anything back. The weird thing was he had this textbook open. Like a Math textbook? And then he gave me this mountain spring water. I feel like I don't hate him, but there's something there I don't really want to uncover. If I do I might never hear the end of it. He's an enigma. But I asked him and he said no. No I didn't deserve to be in the front row, Michelle did. I mean it hurt but I got my answer. Like I said, he's the one whose going to give the honest answer.

You know, she as in Michelle gets on really well with most of the group and actually listens, and doesn't yell at others. I think maybe with the front row dilemma, that's when I made up my mind. Emily is overly threatened, the team is breaking apart and she doesn't want to include anyone's ideas. She has all on such a tight leash. She did so well last year but for some reason (besides Michelle) she's reverted back and is now hitting back at others who don't deserve it.

In the whole building out of everyone, I feel like I trust James more than anyone else. I don't know how or why, I just feel like if I told him something, he'd actually keep it. He has the power to sort things out magically or calm me down, and we have the same sort of ideas, we're both big believers in being fair and we both agree the routines are just not showcasing anyone except my sister and are now just repetitive. It felt good to bounce names off with him to who would suit the role best. Like I said he's goofy but he knows what's up. 

I can't believe what we're planning. What I'm planning. She is my sister but it's what right. For the team. Especially since when I pushed Michelle to the front row and kept her there. Emily's face said a lot more than any of her words possibly could. I did the wrong thing in her eyes. I basically committed treason according to her. But Michelle is a much better dancer than me. She's already been to Nationals so she knows how to handle that pressure. It was just obvious that should have happened, and Kate and Chris happy with the switch was proof.

The worst part of today was being kicked out of E-Girls. I know I've had my reservations but I was part of a friendship group or at least with some people who helped me through some things. And now it's just gone. Emily kicked me out. Her own sister. I did the right thing, and I got punished. This shouldn't have surprised me. But...I...my own sister. Is she even going to talk to me outside of dance?

One things for sure we can't keep going like this anymore. 

We're going to overthrow my sister as dance captain. 


	52. Chapter 52

There's something to be said about having a day off. As much as dance is my favourite things, hanging out with a good group of people is a good close second.

Of course it hurts that this means I'm not helping out with dance camp. You know, I'm not part of the E-Girls anymore. On the outside looking in but I'm really seeing how bad they are. I knew they were fairly bad before but being out of it, it's worse somehow. Unless you're an E-Girl, there is no talking to anyone else outside the studio. Still. My own sister doesn't want me around. I'm just hoping it'll all be blown over soon because I miss telling her about my day or what stupid thing Eldon's done. I can't stop thinking about how much I'm going to miss dance camp but I'm really glad Michelle said to come to the beach with the others. It means a lot that someone is looking out for me. We've been hanging out a bit lately helping each other out with homework and having a movie night at her place once when Emily got too much.

I think maybe tomorrow I might wear Emily's necklace tomorrow. I could use some of Grandma's positive spirit right now. Hopefully Em's won't mind.


	53. Chapter 53

The beach was great! Apart from the bit in the day where I lost Emily's necklace and really almost lost it for good. i'm really glad James thought of the metal detector and Michelle to dance as a group to get said metal detector. I felt a massive weight lifted off of me with these two helping me throughout and getting our grandmother's necklace back to us safely. 

I feel a lot closer to those guys now. I feel like these guys aren't just teammates, they're my friends. My really good friends. I can't believe how much I had away from the E-Girls. I feel like I'm seeing healthier friendships. I feel like I'm in them.


	54. Chapter 54

More than ever I'm glad we're planning to overthrow Emily. I'm furious. There's no winning right now with my sister. Michelle shouldn't have volunteered to go and spy on Elite because now Emily is getting her way further. Michelle almost ended up in the biggest of troubles. I asked James to look after her. I know that it wasn't entirely his fault but I can't focus on that. Emily is planning to throw Michelle out.

I just wish Michelle would see our side. If anything is to go ahead with out plans, Michelle needs to be on board otherwise I don't want to know what;s going to happen throughout the rest of this year.

We need a new routine. One that's going to show Kate and Chris how much better a team effort is. The only good thing about A-Troupe right now was doing the duet with James yesterday.

Whoa. Did I just say that? Me, Riley? I just said that.

I guess it's true. We had a lot of fun creating and dancing together. He has a lot of good ideas and he's a really hard worker when he wants to be and I really enjoyed it. There was a lot of chemistry, and I wouldn't mind working with him again really. 

And tomorrow Brighter Brightest are coming to shoot a music video with us on A-Troupe. I'm not going to say I'm excited or anything but I'm excited! They're amazing! I don't know how anyone else is keeping so calm!


	55. Chapter 55

I don't even want to talk about Brighter Brightest today. I'm so embarrassed. 

They thought I was from a different country because I couldn't form two sentences around them! Not even two! Then I bickered with James and told there's some chemistry between us. No. No. N.O. Absolutely not. But the music vid went so well if you discount the boys vs girls moment. But y'know I guess I also saw a softer side. Not the one he showcases everywhere. He got me a signed picture from the band and I got a kiss on the cheek from one of the boys!

Maybe there is something there. But that's for only me to know. For now anyway.


	56. Chapter 56

Emily's still not really speaking to me. There's moments where I think she will but it's usually my own imagination. 


	57. Chapter 57

Today might have been one of the top ten most stressful days ever. 

All I had to do was get the costumes for Kate before the costume shop closed. Easy. But of course there had to be a wrench in that plan and of course that wrench had to be James. 

I just wanted a quiet day to myself, a quiet journey on the bus and back in time to put the costumes away for Kate.

None of that really happened the way I wanted it to. 

For one thing James got on the bus sitting right next to me and started talking to the stranger in front of us (who does that?) then decided we needed to get shrawma's which I didn't want to do because that would put us behind but hey we got them! Thankfully that bit didn't take us too long but then he lost his transfer ticket and ripped mine! Who does that?! So we had to start walking and then all of a sudden he stops to smell his food while we need to get to the costume store!

Then kooky aunt Kathy turns up and we're even later so we have to physically run and we see that it's closed! CLOSED. I have never been angrier. Well, maybe when all that drama with Kelsey happened but that was way less important than getting our costumes for Regionals so we don't dance in our underpants. By this point I was all ready to just ditch him but then he had to go and flash that smile and his 'don't worry about it'. I really wished he understood that sometimes not everything can be fixed so easily. However when I kept watching do the same flip all day and not landing it, I really couldn't let him fall over again. He needed to tuck. And he landed it and he started asking for my help.

No one has ever really asked for my help before. So what other choice did I have other than to join his dance. Again we have so much fun together and dancing with him just feels really easy, and it's the most I've managed to laugh and let loose lately. And we got the costumes. They let us in. By that point I'd let all the anger deflate out of me and I was just happy to get the costumes. Looking back, I guess I was paying a lot more attention to James than I ever had and I guess I was finally ready to address it. 

I wouldn't have last week.

I wouldn't have yesterday.

But today was the day. It's like all the feelings from the day were catapulted into one big thing and that's why I got so angry with him. Angrier than I possibly would have been if I hadn't liked him. I don't really know. Maybe that's the wrong way to think about it. Kate trusted me. I take my trust and promises so seriously. I trust James too, and I trusted him to get us there not just me. It was why I also trusted and believed in him to get us back on track. 

I knew however that I had to take the first step. I didn't exactly know how to say thank you so I kinda showed him. We were on the bus with the costumes beneath us, and I just grabbed his hand with mine and held it. Every day I learn a different side to him and today was his softest. James is someone I think I've liked for a while but was so afraid to say so because of his reaction, the E-Girls reactions and Emily's. He's shown me there's a lot more to him. You know he is cute and he's fairly easy to talk to. I can hold a conversation with him and it's the easiest and happiest thing in the world. He's been my partner in crime with Michelle, he helped me with the front row and getting the costumes back, he cleaned up his own mistakes and he doesn't mind showing affection. I don't think I could be with anyone who wouldn't want to show affection easily. Especially if we were together. If you like me then show me. That's something I think Emily and I have fairly in common. And in the end before we got on the bus he made me laugh. I feel like something could be possible with him. I want something to be possible with him. 


	58. Chapter 58

I don't want to agree with saying my sister's a bully. But she's certainly been elitist more than ever lately. Michelle has her really shook up. I was so proud when she attempted to learn my friend's moves (because Michelle is becoming more of a friend to me lately, dare I say it a close one) and all of a sudden she just rips into Chloe without even waiting to hear her out?

I'm mad at Chloe too, she's never really with us and she's always dashing off somewhere. She's not in dance and it's interfering with her competing for things like the solos today. But that doesn't mean I'm going rat her out in front of the whole class. Studio even. It's something I'd talk to her about in private or go to Miss Kate about. My sister's been changing and not for the better. 

She (as in my friend not my sister) came up to James and I in Squeezed while we were hanging out. She's had enough too. I don't know what sent her fully over the edge but her reign to use her words as dance captain and lording it all over us in the studio is over. 

Our plan is in motion. She's prepared as much as we are to bring this all back together. 

Emily, I'm so sorry I have to do this. But it's for the good of the team and maybe also a wake up call. None of us can treat each other like this. I can't ignore it any longer. There's so much tension, and it's taken out on the rest of the team because of me especially. A-Troupe is broken, boring, unfair and needs a fresh start. We have to do this. I want to be able to dance again. I'm not a robot, and you can't yell to get what you want. We have to do this no matter how much it's going to hurt us in the long run. So I'm sorry Em's, for the good of our team, your reign as queen bee is over. Three against one. 


	59. Chapter 59

We've started choreographing the new Regionals dance. Michelle is amazing! She's able to add everyone's ideas in so easily and whenever something doesn't work, she's able to work around it. She's really adaptable and willing to listen. You know we have tutting thanks to West and Daniel still has his solo - who is is surprisingly happy to do hip hop -but despite the thrashing she got from Emily, Chloe still didn't want to get involved.

I'm amazed at her dedication to my sister but this is what's right. Not the E-Girls.


	60. Chapter 60

I'm proud of Chloe. She said exactly the same thing Michelle did. Emily's reign is over. Now she's with us and we're adding some of her moves as well. We've been laughing and having fun just like dance should be. Studio B with this group feels more like home than Studio A right now. Most of us just don't want to go back. The fact West almost blew our cover a day or so ago almost destroyed this but he covered it back up well, and somehow Em's believed it. 

I feel like it's a really strong routine with lots of ideas and creativity and you know all of us are smiling and having fun as we perform it. I feel like an A-Trouper when I'm performing it.

I just wish we could have gotten Eldon to join. He's just so in love and attached to Emily. He would never have betrayed her willingly. James and I wished we could have run out after him but thankfully Chloe and I listened in to Emily and Steph's conversation and nothing really looked as if it was said. But they were doing something with Michelle's phone and I wished I knew what. Whatever it happened to be, it didn't look good. I've had enough of lying. Not only to Emily, but to Kate and Chris. They have no idea what's going on.

And James completely failed his Math exam so he's most likely getting pulled from the studio, so what am I going to do without him? At the studio. He's a big part of it.

I'm really hoping things all work out. 


	61. Chapter 61

I found the texts and I hid Michelle's phone. I knew I was right to be a little wary. Emily tried to fake texts that Michelle was sending that painted her out to be mean. None of it worked. There was a massive argument between Emily and Michelle when Kate decided we had to do the routine we'd newly choreographed and vote for who we wanted as dance captain.

It was over all so quickly.

We got the result we wanted. Even Tiffany and Eldon joined us. They voted for Michelle. 

Michelle is now dance captain, but I think my sister just got a little further away from me.

She didn't even look at me all night. 

This needed to be done. It was what was right. Nothing more. I don't hate my sister but there were times I found it hard to like her and right now I'm fairly sure its the other way round. I just hope with a bit of space from each other, we can get through this. 


	62. Chapter 62

I just feel like I'm falling.

Everything is going wrong so fast. Y'know everything with A-Troupe is alright. The E-Girls are actually defeated and I hope nothing like it ever comes around again. But first Emily is still being brash towards Michelle (I mean I can't really blame her but she needs to at least accept it) then James really is pulled out of the studio due to how bad his Math grades are, and the only thing that is going to help him get through this is if A-Troupe helps pull him through (and our deal but that's only for us to know) and then the worst thing ever is said to me.

Emily says we're not sisters.

I lost my big sister. I've lost her. What do I do. How can we even come back from this. She could have said anything or yelled at me, Just anything but that. She said that. 

We're not even sisters.

Chris tried to talk to me and say it'd blow over but nothing has so far. Everything Emily and I were as siblings are gone. That everything would turn out fine and this is just Emily adjusting but he's wrong. Emily has never ever been like this with me before, and she just won't talk to me. It's been three days. 

We're not even sisters. 


	63. Chapter 63

Michelle is honestly a fantastic dance captain. Emily is still not talking to me but it seems like she was really trying today. Despite being put in the back row. She seems to have accepted that she's not the one leading anymore and has to be part of the team again. But all of a sudden Steph has just turned and is now acting like Emily was before just leaving. I can't get over it. I feel there's too much drama going on. 

I love talking to West and Eldon but I feel like I have no one to really catch me when I'm performing. James and I, we talk every day through text or he calls me but he's not there. I miss his presence. I miss dancing with him. I miss him being at the studio, I even miss him sometimes walking me home. 

I need him as much as A-Troupe does. He's an integral part and I do really want to go on this date with him. I feel like he's really showed me who he is and I've fallen for that more than anything else. He also just helps keep the team boosted, and Eldon and West calmer. I really really hope he can do this.

Maybe to take my mind off of some of this, I could do something extra to help out. To help push him a little further. And as I said to get my own mind off of things. I guess I could make cue cards?

 


	64. Chapter 64

I'm really excited to go for coffee with Michelle tomorrow. Maybe not talk about dance. I know Michelle the dancer but I really wan to know Michelle the person. What makes her tick and stuff. So I'm really excited. 


	65. Chapter 65

Some things are just so big to wrap your head around, I guess this is one of them. Well the last couple of days at least. See, Emily and Steph left to audition for Elite without even telling Kate and Chris. We were all kinda freaking out. Once Emily heart is set on something, she is going to do anything to achieve it.. I love my sister but as much as I hurt her, she hurt me. I'm having a hard time realising that. I can't believe West was the one who helped me realise that. For all his oddness, he's very insightful. I wish we could just go back to how things were between us as sisters but we just can't right now. Maybe we'll always have this rift. Everything's too much.

So anyways we brought people up from B to audition. We were just about to hear who Chris, Kate and Michelle chose all ready and then Steph comes back in. Without Emily. My heart sank. Of course Emily got in. And of course she left someone behind to go pursue her own dream. Which I'm not saying she shouldn't do, but she needs to realise what she's doing to the people she loves. She's so set on winning or focusing on doing her own thing, she forgets there are people relying on her just as much. So when Emily got in, she went on with a fresh start and left others to clear up what she left. She's feeling betrayed, that their friendship's ruined. All of this. Stephanie can be a lot sometimes. But I know how leaving left behind feels, and we do need her back on the troupe. We need her to win. And.....we have missed her. It may have only been a few days but we've missed her.

We're a family here and she needs to remember that. 

The second part is of course to do with one break-dancer. It feels as if it's been more than a few weeks since he left to go study for his Math but honestly I'm just grateful there's more than one way to communicate with him because if I hadn't had his support or advice throughout this whole thing, I don't know what I would have done. I just have really felt I wanted to be around him lately. So going to his school to help teach him the routine and help clear the stress away like he's done for me felt great. I felt like we were really in synch and I had so much fun with him even while rehearsing. He picked it up so well. I know he's going to pass that test. I believe he can. He got all the answers right I asked, and he just needs to believe in himself as much as I do. 

The best part is Giselle is back on A-Troupe and I'm excited to have her back. She's a fantastic dancer and she's really sweet but knows exactly how to get everyone into lines without any of that ego. I'm looking forward to dancing with her again. Only she and West seem to be having mind conversations because they both keep looking at Daniel, and Daniel's foot just as much. 

No the  _best_ part out of all of this hasn't even been documented yet. I wrote all of this in a hurry last night, not ready for anything today held and it turned out to be awesome. B+! We're going out on our official date tomorrow after rehearsal and I'm really excited. Nervous but excited. I just wish my sister was with me to help contain the excitement and talk it all out. 


	66. Chapter 66

That might have been one of the most romantic things I've ever done. He really thought about everything. Thanks to Em's help, I asked straight out and we're in a relationship. I'm really excited to see where we go.

I'm also happy because of the fact Emily and I are mending our relationship. I want my sister back. I've missed her. I need her in my life, and we are always going to fight at one point or other and our relationship is never going to be same anymore. Not completely but she's one of my best friends and I want her in my life. So I'm willing to work on it. Just like she is. We're going to be the sisters each other needs. We're closer now we know how much we can lose each other.


	67. Chapter 67

Daniel sprained his ankle. He can't come to Regionals with us. What are we going to do, we need him for Regionals. Unless we somehow manage to get Emily back but she clearly doesn't want to considering how we all went and she said no to joining*

I left this a few nights ago. A lot's happened. Emily is back with us on TNS being the main one. 

The second is being in a dance battle with Seeds. I can't believe West seriously thought he could hide this from us. I mean he did well to keep it for this long but I'm glad he decided to stay with us. He's a big part of A-Troupe. I know we lost and it hurts that we lost especially because we'll be going to Regionals soon and this was a chance to show how strong we were as dancers and they wiped the floor with us. Then Emily just flicks this switch and she's happy that we lost? But it works because she did rally us into working harder and we do now know what we're up against. Now she's co-captain with Michelle! 

The final big thing that happened was....we found out Chloe had a job. She almost had to leave because she couldn't pay fully for herself to Regionals. She pays to afford dance classes because no one else in her family can. She's supporting herself. I was so mad at her for missing all these rehearsals and here she is working to be able to even attempt coming in. I barely think about money, Emily and I go shopping fairly often. I just thought that everyone on A-Troupe was able to get in easily with no worries and have fun, and I forgot that money is a big thing for people especially those who don't really have it, and this definitely proved how wrong I was. I'm going to look into it further I think, and really apologise to Chloe. She deserves that from me.


	68. Chapter 68

It was nice to hang out as friends and realise that there's more that connects us than just dance. Even if I haven't forgiven James for that chicken prank just yet.

It was nice to watch Emily let loose as well. I'm glad she and Eldon are finding their groove. 

 


	69. Chapter 69

J-Troupe 'wishing us well' = the most cutest thing. I'm so full of nerves I can't cope. I'm really excited to go and show Regionals what The Next Step has to offer. 


	70. Chapter 70

I can’t believe they just lost of me because of me. They should have their chance at Regionals. James beside me was a helpful presence even if I hadn’t recognised it at the time as I was so focused on Kate and Emily. His hand on my back and just being there… Honestly having Emily in front of me calming me down…. That was my sister right there. I thought I’d lost her. I hadn’t. The wild card spot, James being the calm one.. I don’t know whether I cared for him more then. I’m so glad I can make it up to them. I still feel terrible.


	71. Chapter 71

Elite needs to go. Them tormenting Emily is not okay. Why has no one pulled them up on this? Why can’t James stop joking around? Just for once I want him to be serious. This is so important. My sister is hurting and all he cares about is what? The next quip to fly from his mouth? I don’t want Eldon to break my sisters heart. She’s so proud if who she is becoming and that’s partly Eldon. He gets her, she tells me all the time how much she trusts him, how he stands by her and how much she really cares for someone that’s treating her right.

It's been so stressful, I've taken any minute free to grab this and just breathe. I’m so glad my hairpin didn’t come out this time. And I’m glad I apologised to James. I hate stress. I hate the way stress makes me stressed. How can he not get stressed over things? Can I accept that? I mean I told him I could live with it. I believe it. I believe in him when he said he understood I do stress. And that he’ll accept he for who I am. I’m happy he checked to see if we were good. We are. I’ve never been better.


	72. Chapter 72

Yes! We beat Seeds! Elite better watch out. No one hurts my sister and gets away with that. Nor do our team. We’re a family. Elite… Elite are.. They’re something else for sure. I want to wipe the grins off their faces. What’s wrong with Emily?

I'm having to double up on these entries even if they've been on one or the same day because honestly every round we advance, I need to be calmed down more. The latest one was a little harder to calm down from. Our friendly Beth arrived to talk to James but I heard nothing from him.  And why can’t James just tell me what she said to him? Don’t worry about it? I’m worrying already! I mean, I trust him. I really do. I just want anything to come between us.

 


	73. Chapter 73

WE WON REGIONALS! REGIONALS! US! I can’t believe I kissed James on stage. God that’s embarrassing. And Emily still looks off. I wish I knew what I could do or what it was about.

THE NEXT STEP IS REGIONALS CHAMPIONS!


	74. Chapter 74

It’s been nice having a break away from the studio. I’m really glad mom didn’t catch me and James napping on the sofa together either. I can deal without that. She gets are stressed out as I do. She knows there’s a relationship but not too much about it (unless I really want to tell her which is great I love my privacy). I can’t imagine how she’d be if I told her we spent two hours just taking a nap together with no one else in the house. We’ve been going so well.

I also took Emily out the day afterwards. She’s been better. She just sat there staring at her coffee. Not.. Talking to me. What’s going on?!


	75. Chapter 75

So good to see everyone back at the studio today!

Beth keeps looking at James. I know he says there’s nothing there but I see some smiles directed towards each other.. Or a laugh and I get… Self conscious almost. If there’s anything I’ve learnt from Emily lately, it’s to trust myself just as much as my boyfriend. It was a while back. She *needs* to get over it. James is loyal and so am I. Daniel came back in, and West instantly ran over? I forget how close those two had gotten. Noah and Gabby’s pirouette off was so sweet and Noah killed it. Richelle I’m a little uncertain on but I’m sure she’ll grow on me.

I now know why Emily has been acting so distant. I kept my cool in that room. That was possibly the most hurtful thing someone could ever do to someone else. Michelle and Eldon? Is that going to work? Michelle and our friendship, will that get in the way? I needed to talk to her. So I did. I’m her sister. I’m here for her. I’m always going to be.

 


	76. Chapter 76

A new guy's arrived. He's called Hunter and he and Michelle seem to have a thing or did have a thing or something. My best friend is not letting me in, and I need her to. I need to know what's going on, because all this is now affecting Eldon which is affecting James and is now starting to affect me. But what do I do about it?

Another thing is 'the challenge'. I’m wary of the challenge, obviously I don’t want to be cut but I’m prepared to work hard and stay with my friends. And go to nationals. But Amanda in A-Troupe all of a sudden and this Hunter drama, that’s not a good start to any of this. I'm having trouble wrapping my head around any of this. As of right now, I'm just happy throughout the challenge that I got a spot on this year’s nationals team!!


	77. Chapter 77

Hunter and Emily?! I’m happy they’re getting on at least. Don’t need any more drama.

Why can’t Beth just stop? Everywhere I turn, she's there. Now she's having to do a duet with James? Their duet I can’t fault really when seeing it, she manages to move well. She's a good dancer however this not getting the hip hop section had me screaming, and I wanted to help her with that at least. I also missed dancing with him so that was a plus. We move so in synch like I've said lots of times before and the same way. It feels natural, like I’ve always supposed to have moved that way.

I asked Emily about Hunter as well.. She seems to really really care for him. I’m happy for her. It's about time she got some brightness back in her life.


	78. Chapter 78

I had so much fun performing at the fashion show and hanging out with my bestie and Emily! Only something's up with Michelle. I've noticed it too. I talked to her and apparently Eldon isn't talking to her or something odd. I asked James about it and he just avoided the question?! 

I need to know what's going on. This is my best friend. I don't want to see her getting hurt where she didn't have to be. 

 


	79. Chapter 79

We got the duet. But it wasn't worth it. 

I.. I…he said he wanted to be with me. He goes on dates with me, he talks with me, he laughs with me, he kisses and hugs me, and all this time when I thought he was being loyal.. I could not have been more wrong. I can’t stop watching it over in my head trying to make sense of it. Was our connection ever real? And with Beth? BETH? I don’t want to see either of those two for a good while. I hope they’re happy because I am not. I still need to tell Em’s, I just have to figure out how without her going and hurting James. I hate I still care about that. I’ve been so happy and I thought he was too.


	80. Chapter 80

I don’t want to talk about that date with Charlie. Ever. Too cringe worthy.


	81. Chapter 81

Some days Emily really proves she’s the best sister ever. She talks to me about my dancing and she’s helping he out with this whole James moving on situation (even though I’m still having a hard time struggling with it). I just… Emily, you’re just the best. And I’ve never needed, wanted or been luckier to have you around.


	82. Chapter 82

Michelle and Eldon are finally over. Emily told me before Michelle could. Over a stupid dance battle. I need to go cheer up my best friend. She needs someone with her. 

I know how breakups feel. 


	83. Chapter 83

I avoid James more often that not nowadays. I just don’t want to be near him.


	84. Chapter 84

Ahhh my sister and Hunter are together and they seem to mesh so well!

On the other side of all this? Michelle left. She just left the studio. I’m so hurt right now. She’s so quickly become my best friend and I don’t know what to feel. She's helped me through so much, we've been through so much as a team and as friends. She left us in the lurch with Nationals but I knew she was fading from the studio as well. I just want to see my friends face again.


	85. Chapter 85

Our plan to show Amanda’s true colours is good. I didn’t want to have Emily do it. I wanted to be able to! I’m not believable apparently. No one could hate me, right now I wish someone could. I want someone to hug my sister and tell her its all okay. Even if it’s not. We’re the only two who are in on this and it has to work. It just has to.

He wants me back? I mean I want him back too, but if he wants me, he has to prove it to me. I’m glad he wants to fight for me though. That’s all I’ve ever wanted from this fallout but making a list? Oh James won’t know what’s hit him. He says he wants me back, then this really will prove it.


	86. Chapter 86

If he doesn’t do Number 10 (which is getting to know Emily) even if it scares him then I can’t be with him. They’re not and have never been best friends so it’d be nice for them to do this. I know Emily doesn’t hate him or not like him but she tells me all the time he needs to be able to work for something not just cruise by. Not someone who can’t be bothered to learn about and try to understand my sister. Not someone who can discover something about her even I don’t know. Since everything that happened between us I do feel like we’ve had our ups and downs and now we’re just, we’re stronger than ever before. Being what the other needs. And I’m glad of that. I need my sister and I know she needs me. Its great to be able to talk to her more than we ever have before. James needs to understand we’re not going back to the way we were when Michelle entered for the first time. Emily and I are better people now. Stronger sisters now.


	87. Chapter 87

Preparing for Nationals is exhausting. I barely have time to even do my homework before I'm out the door ready for that day's rehearsal. I want to talk about Nationals so much but I also don't. It's just so much pressure and having the duet but not wanting the duet, there's just so much going on everywhere.

I just hope we can all pull through. I hope he can break up with Beth because....I'm not doing that. He's not skipping any of this list. I'm going to put him through his paces. Including reading a page of this diary. He is not going to know what hit him. 


	88. Chapter 88

He crossed one thing off the list. Reading a page of this diary, only I should have expected him to read the entire thing. But at least that's one thing down. He's still with Beth, so he needs to hurry that along. I told Michelle over the phone and she laughed but there was something underneath it I couldn't place.


	89. Chapter 89

I’ve never felt worse for my sister. Proving loyalty to Amanda by breaking up with someone she thought she had something so special with? It was such a cold act. And I wish I could understand Hunter’s feelings. Because if he did know her, he’d have known something was up. Surely? He’d have known why Emily was breaking it off with him. He must have known there was something up. The only good thing out of today was James finally breaking it off with Beth. And I’m told he and Hunter are bros now because of this for some reason? Whatever. Why can’t Emily and I both have relationships that don’t blow up in our faces? Maybe it’s just been too long a day.


	90. Chapter 90

He taped two four leaf clovers together and showed me a picture of a textbook with one on it? I tried to keep a straight face but the minute I got back I exploded into laughter. Then I remembered the fake tattoo James got on his wrist that Eldon had drawn and it just made me laugh harder. He's really trying. He's really fighting for me. Emily looked at me saying hearing me laugh meant she felt better. This breakup is hitting her hard.


	91. Chapter 91

James and Emily getting on? That’s one of the best things I could have hoped for. Number ten completed. There’s some of my favourite people in this world enjoying each others company and I get to watch. Emily told me the other day if they’re chatting and talking about me, James eyes light up and he just loves the conversations. Emily laughs her head off. They've found  their common ground. I think they're going to find their ground even without talking about me. 

With all this drama, and the Amanda situation I’m happy James is there to make me laugh as well. 

It's good to have him ingrained into my family. 


	92. Chapter 92

He passed his learners permit. He has a license, James can drive and that’s another thing off the list. Seeing him actually nervous was interesting. He’s never nervous. For once I had to be the one to calm him down. Get that motivation in him to get going. And we get a date at the drive in movie. I never want to see that instructor again. He was certainly.....interesting. It was good to have his Mom there with me. Hearing from Michelle about how much she’s enjoying debate team makes me feel sad… But I really miss her on A-Troupe.

We’re not getting Michelle back, she’s clearly happy on the debate team. And that’s okay. Well maybe not okay as it should be but for now it’ll have to be. I have to respect my best friend's decision. Emily agrees. She had that when she left for Elite - that seems so long ago now - and I should let her have that space. I should allow her to have that space. She doesn't tell me, but I know they buried the hatchet a while ago and okay maybe they'll be super tight friends but they are friends now. They work as such a cohesive unit, and I kind of miss that. But I need to give Michelle room, especially if she might come back.

I can’t stop laughing at first aid training today. Miss Kate just has the best ideas and maybe number 7 was a bit too far even for me so it was a fair trade in. When I got back from that the text it dampened my spirits but knowing James helped me out, understood I needed to go, that helped. I don’t want my sister to be kicked out. She doesn’t deserve this. This plan, trying to execute it all on her own… Now it's my turn to help. 

But now Emily’s suspended. She sent me a SNS and I didn’t know what to do and now I know. Now I know how cruel Amanda really is. Not that I didn’t before but its even worse now to know and see my sister become even more of a shadow than she has been. I don’t want to do this plan anymore. I don’t want to let this all be a waste. Emily deserves a spot on this team. If I can’t help her out of this, get Amanda gone, things will never work out.


	93. Chapter 93

I know I keep writing about him but James got Michelle back! I knew I could rely on him. Michelle is back on A-Troupe! We pulled off this huge flash mob to remind her why she loved dancing and it worked! She’s back! My best friend is back! Emily is… Happier knowing Amanda is off the team after Chloe noticing Steph with Amanda buying juices with the nationals money and us telling Miss Kate leading to Amanda spilling every single bit of her plan. Everything is getting sorted. Emily is back and she’ll be okay. And everyone’s apologised to her. 

Sooooo, guess what? I have a boyfriend again! List completed! I'm happy to have us back as a couple. He's done more than enough to prove he wanted me back and fight for it. Kissing him after so long felt.. Felt like drinking a cold drink after a hot day. Comforting, cooling. Safe. I’m excited for where this goes. Mrs Kate looked as if her Christmas had come earlier as she saw us kiss (yeah that one can go in to the awkward locker) Later he told me as much as he did that for Michelle, he did it for me. I said forever because I want that to be the truth. Forever James. The better thing is that we're now back on the duet. The chemistry still feels a little off but that’s fine. We can work on that. We’re working on a lot of things. As Emily said I’m doing something that will show I care about him like he did for me with the list. I’m thinking maybe a film or a picnic so far. I'm swaying towards picnic. In a good space. Maybe somewhere like Parkour Alley? Now that is a fantastic idea. I'm going to enlist our favourite hip hop dancer as well. I know West would be so happy to help out with anything. 


	94. Chapter 94

Sometimes I want to just dance all day.

Michelle came up to me today as well. She was happy to see Amanda gone but hating she didn't spot who she was sooner. She knows it won't happen again, her guard's up. Well she didn’t come up to me herself, we went out for a girls lunch. We’ve been doing them since she came back to the studio as proper best friend time. Phone calls and skypes are not always the same as hanging out. Her mind was somewhere else for the whole of it. She… She told me that things at home were getting difficult, that there’s been arguments but there’s also something underneath that. There always is with Michelle. Things like this do hit her hard. Nationals around the corner as well? Hopefully she can keep her cool like usual.

There’s this guy from Lost and Found (the floor above us) as well who somehow wandered accidentally into our rehearsal, said he was looking for someone called Theo? Apparently this kid was roaming round the halls asking for drummers because they needed one or couldn't find one or something and was going a little bit too much in asking. He came to get Theo back, Just as soon as he appeared, he ran back out because he spotted him yelling after him. I laughed saying that it was weird what just occurred (and it was kind of humerus, it's good to know not only A-Troupe have a sort of West like character) but she said it was all kinda cute. Especially with the way he wished us all a good day after he came back to pick up his dropped hat that said Theo pointed out to him before stammering he meant evening then really making another dash out for it. I needed a moment to laugh again. My bestie just commenting again that he was cute or sweet.

 

The beanie and hat hair clearly got to her.


	95. Chapter 95

Emily and I totally did not just binge watch Parks and Rec for the entire weekend. Nope. Not at all.

Annnd it's time to go to Nationals! I'm so nervous. It's a much heightened nervousness than Regionals. I guess because it matters more? Either way, I know we're all going to kill it. We've merged so much together as a unit this year and gotten so much closer thanks to everything that went down. It feels as if this year went even quicker. I'm not prepared for any of the outcomes. Just getting there. Here we go Nationals. 


	96. Chapter 96

Wow! What an amazing couple of days! So dramatic as well. Eldon won male soloist, the boys won small group (and I had the biggest burst of emotion as I watched the boys group dance) , Michelle female soloist (even after Elite tried to sabotage us. Again.) , James and I the duet and the next step won Nationals! AND Emily, West and and Giselle won us tickets to see Shane live! The only bad thing is we lost Emily. She hurt herself, injured her knee badly and now she can’t compete. But Amanda stepped in for us. She was still listed down on our team. As an alternate. It was weird, don’t get me wrong I’m happy she tried to be less Elite actually stepping up to help someone in need rather than sabotage , but it was still a knock. Emily deserved to be there to win and celebrate with us, but at least she was in the wings after she hurt herself. She's such a huge supporter of us and the team. But I'm so glad we won Nationals. Even if we lost things to get there, we still won it. Now it’s Internationals. I hope she can come back and dance with us. I think I ate too much after celebrating though. I feel ill.

West and Emily are hanging out so much lately as well. She actually left me with James to go hang out with West. And she cheered them before they left for their small group routine. Especially after she hurt herself. He was the first to notice and the first to comfort her.

Okay I just asked and SHUT UP, apparently they kissed? I mean I thought she wasn’t over Hunter but apparently so. I mean I can kinda see it, they really manage to balance each other out. She sorta brings balance to him, and he brings out the fun side in her. I can really see it. It's really unexpected but I do see it. I hope they can figure out ways to work it out. 


	97. Chapter 97

Hung out with mom, haven’t really done that for a while. It felt calming actually. Got the ice cream out and she kept quizzing me about how everything at the studio is going. Mom, it’s fine.

I hadn’t actually written this down. At Nationals, I told James I loved him. I know he loves me and I know he knows I felt the same way back but I’ve just never said it before. Out loud. To his face. In front of an audience. After our duet. He’s always been so cool just saying I love you and not worrying too much if I ever said it back or not. I’m just so proud of him for managing the B-twist and for being amazing. When his eyes lit up with his confused face and kissed me in (I guess elation?) on right there on the National stage I knew I had really meant it. I hadn’t realised how much I loved him til that point. I relaxed then. I love him. And we kissed on stage. In front of the audience. Which cheered for us. I’m fairly sure I heard Emily yelling “get it sister” at some point.

I cannot believe we’ve had to team up with Elite though. Just to save our studio. Our space. DO I even want to go near them? I don't know how to deal with any of this. At least Amanda is proving herself to be better. She's saying to every single Elite member she's with TNS and not them anymore. Of course I'm still wary, but I'm happy she decided not to go back behind enemy lines. 


	98. Chapter 98

Once I feel like something's about to calm again, something else happens to speed the crazy up. Michelle...she wasn't handling having her parents getting divorced and balancing dance on top of it. So now Giselle has sort of had to take over as captain of our team. I mean no one is replacing Michelle (or Emily, god I'm so glad she's recovering better each day but I wished I knew what happened between her and West. If there was anything) but Giselle is a wonderfully inspiring dance captain in her own right. 

Speaking of Michelle. She and I are having so much fun at the park tomorrow. What with her not being overly focused on dance and having school on top of it all, more than ever she needs to be around her friends. 

And seeing as James now has this band he's joined in on, we get to make even more friends. I just hope he really is ready to balance it all out because we do not need to lose another member of this team. 

It’s so lovely to go watch the boys perform at Lost and Found across the hall though. James is so talented and so are the boys he jams out with. Theo is a little bit like West sometimes and Luke and John seem to be very sweet and they all just seem to click. John seems to stare at Michelle a lot I've noticed. I wonder why?


	99. Chapter 99

Ella is so much fun to be around! James is so busy with the band lately, I just feel like we’re drifting apart. He can’t see where he lies between the band and dance. I feel like we're losing each other all over again, we do not need another repeat of the dance battle aftermath. 

*Arguing is exhausting, I don't care if we have to do it. It just is. I wish I could see his side of the story. Maybe we both need to see each other through different eyes. I just wish I knew what to do. 


	100. Chapter 100

Being James is exhausting. How does he do it? I can really appreciate who he is now. I understand him better. We’ve come back from that fight stronger. Now we can leave it in the past. Talk about other things like how Amanda seems to really enjoy being here still. I enjoy her being here too. 

Or the fact that the next time I go into Lost and Found and ask for James in for rehearsal, I’m avoiding Mr T. He is one scary dude. How does anyone face that? I don’t want to think about it. I mean I'm sure he's lovely but he's....scary.

Emily skyped me from her room at university and we just blasted the radio and had the best talk. I’m really missing her. It’s okay though, I’ll see her soon. 

What else do I feel like needs to be filled in here?....OH! I know! Being a waitress to pay back tips. Not my idea of a fun vacation. That's a story for another day. Just know that I was hungry and Ella just sort of left. James and Eldon did not help.

I think I may have figured out why Michelle is acting so weird beside the obvious. I think it’s to do with one of the musicians at Lost and Found. I don’t know who yet, but a little best friend magic and we’ll be talking in no time. 


	101. Chapter 101

John? She has a crush on John? Don’t get me wrong, I can see it fairly easily, happily even but it’s blowing my mind a little bit. He’s not like Eldon or Hunter in any way, not that I can tell. Should I be able to tell? From the time I’ve spent with him which is sadly little, he’s….softer. Calmer. I guess both of us thought that she’d fall for another dancer, but clearly John has surprised us. I’m happy to talk about this with her. We’re best friends after all. I hope things get easier for us all.

Everytime I bring this diary to a competition with me, I get so scared someone is going to find it or I’ll drop it somewhere. So for now, this is going in my suitcase and not being brought out until we hit Internationals.

The best part is getting to duet with James. So I'll see you in a few days!


	102. Chapter 102

Mountain spring water <3.

She stole it? She stole MY routine. I can’t believe it even now. We were so close and I, she stole it. I can’t trust her. I don’t know where to turn and James warned me about this. He warned me. I didn’t listen. How do we come back from this?


	103. Chapter 103

All the girls had a mini sleepover tonight. Obviously we’re all together for the competition but some of us have different rooms, so tonight we all agreed we’d pile into one, grab some snacks, some juice and just talk among us. As friends. Not dancers right then. It was a great night. Sucks to be Elite pulling one over on us without thinking we'd notice, they do it so often!

We won Internationals! Our duet went so well! I don’t know how we pulled the rest of it all off but we did! The Next Step are officially Internationals Champions!

 

I cannot wait for the next season to roll around but I guess school and Emily comes first. Well, Emily will always come first to me. She's my sister but yeah. <3.


	104. Chapter 104

Michelle hasn’t told me much, but John apparently  is hiding in a van for some reason? Jame’s band might be some of the sweetest people but they’re also definitely some of the weirdest.

I hope my best friend manages to work it out. She's been doing a lot better now. Whether that's with John looking out for her in weird ways or it's her coming back onto A-Troupe feeling stronger than before she and Amanda became alternates, I'm glad. It's nice to see her smile again. 

And I know I shouldn't be thinking so far ahead because I have at least a bit more of A-Troupe to give in me however business school just looks so cool. How you manage things, how things come into being and opportunities everywhere. It just looks like such hard work but so much fun. Maybe because I know James won't be coming back, I'm looking into something else to do besides dance. Yeah that was a thing that happened. It threw for such a loop. Mainly because of how he told me?

Right before we did our duet, right before we became champions, James told me this was his last dance with A-Troupe. He’s achieved what he wanted to here, and now his heart lies with the band. I hope he doesn’t quit dance fully, it’d be a waste otherwise, It’ll be weird not dancing on the troupe together after all we went through but he needed to make that choice. I understand it. I'm just fearful of what will happen when we're separated from the same studio but I can't always be like that. I'm going to be happy for him. And besides I'll be bombarded with calls from Aunt Kathy asking how he's doing. I can’t wait to see the band we know and love take off.

Coming into Lost and Found though..... is like being on holiday. A-Troupe is obviously my second home but when I need a break from it, I know we can come here and see the talent. We might have lost a few people like Max who wanted to go to university or just because they want to discover other things about themselves but all that means is a new batch of people are coming through. A new era of A-Troupe kids. 


	105. Chapter 105

I can’t believe Piper was at the open house! I can’t believe Miss Kate turned Amanda away, she;s one of the most incredible dancers. I can’t believe how much of the next step is about to change. Even if I’m really ready for the next chapter. I miss Stephanie already.

Miss Kate asked me to be studio head since she'll be leaving soon for a judge show thing and I.... Me. I asked Amanda and Michelle for help because they were dance captains and they did help but I still wasn’t sure so I just knew I had to ask James. I love dancing but to not be able too, would I be able to do it? Take on these tasks? Everyone seems to think I can, and I want to at least try so I accepted. Oh boy. 

 

I'm TNS's Studio Head. 


	106. Chapter 106

James, West & Eldon at bangers and mash-ups together is so cool. I fear for England. I’m really happy for them. I hope they’ll be okay. I can't help being anxious. I need to stop feeling so anxious about James being halfway across the world. We’ve both not seen each other a lot because of our schedules and now this just puts even more distance between us. Something just feels off about this trip. I wish I wasn't such a big worrier sometimes.

All that’s in my head today is how I’m running the whole studio, how I have to find transportation, how I have to look after my dancers and try and keep the studio afloat. What if I’m not cut out for this? What if I can’t be a studio head? What if I lose every single part of who I am as a dancer? Maybe I should check the tube lines in London so none of them get lost!

I knew he’d ask me at some point but whoa I needed to have gotten all that out there. Doing the pushy shove did help a lot. I am terrified at failing this new role more than I wanted to admit at first. I want my boyfriend to be closer to me but he needs to go with West and Eldon more than he needs to be at the studio. We have time and there’s apps. I did calm down a lot after talking like usual. I just wish England wasn’t so far away, and that the transportation seriously doesn’t cost that much for Regionals.

Yet throughout all of this going on, he wrote another song for us. For me. Luke sang it as we danced after one of the most romantic dinners we have ever had together. Despite the terrible sandwiches. I’m not ready to let him go yet I am at the same time? Treat him well London.


	107. Chapter 107

The boys are in London safely and I just found out one of my dancers is a Prince. Just your typical Tuesday. I’m not letting Alfie go back to Switzerland that’s for sure. He belongs on A-Troupe. With his other family. And I know the perfect way for us to prove it. 

At least Alfie can stay, I just.....I can’t BELIEVE we didn’t qualify at the qualifier, we’re the next step, international winners and we can’t even qualify for Regionals? What even happened with Noah? He’s always so slick and dedicated to dancing his best. He may have said that it’s because he and Amanda like each other but is that really the case here? Maybe I should just step down as Studio Head. I clearly don’t have the right resources or anything to do this. First task and I’ve failed everything. Everyone. Alfie is really proving himself to be a really true friend. I’m lucky to have him.

It is really hard to be without James.


	108. Chapter 108

I don’t know how I didn’t see it. I failed to notice Noah having a serious injury. I am so ashamed. 

The worst thing is...I think… I think I might be falling for Alfie. But that’s not possible. That can’t be possible.

Now Noah can’t dance. One of our best dances is injured. And he can’t dance. I don’t know what the troupe is going to do.

I love James… But how am I feeling something for someone else. This is way too much for me to handle.

Piper saw us. Piper saw. She saw us. I’ve ruined everything.

Michelle knows. I don't know how. She came into my office demanding the truth and I.. I had to confirm it. I’m tired of hiding how I feel. Tired of hiding lies and making the wrong decisions. I’ve not been focused on the team lately, I’ve been focused on me. Alfie and James have been battling in my head long enough. Michelle telling me that shouldn’t have happened. I should have figured it out. Should have prevented things before they got too far, should have told James instantly what was going on. Michelle says she doesn’t know me anymore. I can’t believe how much I’ve ignored seeing how much it hurt Piper, now it will affect the team for Regionals especially as Noah’s out. After everything so far this year, I really don’t know who I am either. This diary suggests I love James more than anyone else but if that was true I would have kissed Alfie. I’m not sure I want to be here. I'm not sure I can be. 


	109. Chapter 109

I’m such an idiot! James appeared. He was meant to be performing with West and Eldon today. He didn’t. He said Piper called him up. Started crying down the phone and instantly flew out because he knew she needed him. “Family is more important than any competition”

I had to do it. I finally told him. He was so worried about Piper, that someone was hurting her. When it was me. I had to break up with James. I kissed Alfie. I have feelings for Alice. I affected everyone around me. This needs to happen. If I hadn’t that would have been so hypocritical back to when James would have been with Beth. I have to ask for space before deciding.

I’m dating Alfie. Even if right now things between Alfie and I are stagnant. I’m just so busy, there’s barely any time. But I’m sure we can fix this.

Emily is back in the studio, I’m looking forward to her helping me. I’ve wanted my big sister lately. I just haven't known how to get any of this across to her.  I know she’s only here to get us to Regionals and then back to university but I’m unbelievably glad she’s here. 


	110. Chapter 110

I can't believe how much Skylar impressed me, Was I really so far out from my own team that I couldn't even pick a dance captain? But Emily is right. We need a dance captain and I need to put myself back into the role as leader. As Studio head because that's what I am.

Noah is able to dance but he seems unsure. Emily knew the situation a lot more than I did having gone through that. Her injury did ruin her dance career, and we can’t have it ruin Noah’s. If he’s uncomfortable right now, then we can't have that cross over into this duet competition. So now Alfie needs a new partner. For the team I need to do this. We do need James. We need him to help us. Emily was right. It’s a big favour, huge. I really need him to say yes.

****I’m glad James helped us. But he needed to go back to London to compete in his own competition. Away from me. Away from us. Right now it all stings a little too much. How many mistakes am I going to make?

Michelle was right. He’s not James. 


	111. Chapter 111

Alfie arranged a date for us, away from the studio and to a different country. But I can’t deny it any longer. Am I making the right choice following Alfie? OR should I stay here? I have to make a choice even though I know I’m going to be hurting a great guy. 

I can’t believe how blind I’ve been. I know James says he hasn’t moved on. He still cares about me. And all honesty, I never did either. I care about him so much. I ruined everything he... we had all for something that was never going to last as long as I thought it would. I think maybe I wanted something fresh forgetting that that’s what we have to do ourselves. I miss him so much. I want to be in his life as his girlfriend and best friend. Enough thinking, more doing. I’m just going to follow my heart and trust it will lead me to the right place. My heart led me to James. He’s my support, he’s my everything. I belong with him. Even it’s hard, it still feels easy. I got on that plane and surprised him at Bangers and Mash-ups. I asked him to take me back right before he performed again, I apologised,told him it’s always been him, please forgive me somehow and it looks like we are back together. I love him. I wonder how many times we’re going to kiss on stage though, only this time that was all on him, all I did was hug. We’re back together. It just feels right. Watching him perform, being with West, Eldon and Thalia as we cheer on, that feels right. For real this time. In my heart, it will always be him.

They won! Bangers and mash-ups champions. I’m so proud. Thalia was there as well, I haven’t hugged my friend in a long time. This was an incredible heartwarming day and maybe slow dancing on the stage might have been one of the cheesiest things I have ever done but it felt nice. Entering to Studio A, there’s no Alfie. I don’t know I’m going to fix that.

Above everything else however, I needed to talk to Piper, we were so close and she said she looked up to me. So i knew I had to fix what had happened between us. I’m so happy to have my little sister back.

Happy to have West and Eldon back in the studio with us but my peace and quiet has gone. My sanity along with it. 


	112. Chapter 112

We need Alfie. He’s gone because of me. I don’t how to get him back. 

I’m so stressed out. Then James got the band to help send us to Regionals! Just like J-Troupe did all those years ago, this is incredible. Wish you well is never far from me. James even said this to Noah who also still remembered. This idea was a good one and I spy a little eye contact between a certain John and Michelle. He even looked for her as we came in with the team! I saw their smiles to each other. I really hope they get together soon. I know some things happened between them. I know Michelle said she talked to John and she said he was broken or something but he doesn’t look it right now. She was not wrong when she said she had the most boy drama. The boys looked kinda confused about sending us off to Regionals though. Wonder if they feel weird performing here in Studio A instead of across the hall. I wish they could learn a few dance moves but there’s not enough time because Regionals here we come. 

I didn't have you with me diary, not fully. Just scraps of paper I've had to stick in. There's been a lot of life happening and I haven't known how to respond to it. So here's what happened;

 

A freestyle round with a name from a package type deal? This is not what we signed up for however we had to power through. I didn’t read the rules properly and everyone suffers. Especially Sloane. She can’t dance with us in any number now for doing choreo in the freestyle. A-Troupe is suffering and I need to be the Studio Head I was when I first got assigned this.

Skylar really proved herself to be a good dance captain. 

 I just can’t believe I messed up again! Michelle just fainted on stage at the end of the trio. Not how this was supposed to go down. Amanda and Amy saved the dance,they got us through to the next round but I’m so incredibly worried still. it’s hard to stay focused. I’m so scared she won’t be okay, she’s my best friend. I need my best friend. I forgot to be a good friend and now she’s in the hospital not being able to make it to the finals. She’s like my sister. Everything we’ve gone through and she’s now being checked out at the hospital and she shouldn’t have apologised to me, I should be the one apologising to her.. Amanda and Piper she denied breaks, pushed herself too hard and wasn’t looking after herself at all lately. They said she was dehydrated and exhausted. I can’t believe i never noticed what was going on right under my nose. Now Michelle’s paid the price. I need to tell James. I need to somehow tell John. I know they’ve been closer lately. 

Duets are up and so are Richelle and Noah. I hope they can pull it off. Update - they just might have pulled it off. It was true what I told Amanda. I don’t miss being in a competitive dance troupe. I did grow out of it, I moved forward. I achieved all I wanted to during my dance career really luckily, and I was ready for something new. This must be how he felt with the band.

We are through to the finals of Regionals and competing against the Geminis’s. That kinda terrifies me a bit inside. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this stressed even when dancing. Dancing is definitely a different kind of stress.

James got Alfie back! I don’t know how he did it but I’m so happy he’ll perform with us. He is the love of my life and I do not think I tell him that enough. And I’m so proud of Piper, she’s really grown throughout the dance season. I’m so stressed still but I know what I hear running through my head everytime…Don’t even worry about it. Then Michelle came running onto the stage in full outfit and she was right. She’s one of our best dances. I had to choose Amanda. I know she must hate me but we needed people focused. 

We lost. The Next Step lost Regionals because of me. Everything I could do wasn’t enough. I wish I could explain to the others that I’m still feeling so lucky despite everything.


	113. Chapter 113

Studio head is a lot of work, and I’m so grateful to people who have helped and for the ones before me, they do not know how hard it is. I’ve made some mistakes, some hard choices and I’ve grown up that little bit more again. I feel older and wiser. I really learnt I love James. He is it for me. I even got a promise ring out of it. He says I’m the one for him and I completely feel the same way. We’re each other’s forever. I’m going to marry him one day. We’re going to be married at some point, I just know it. Nothing is ever going to change that. 

I still feel so guilty about kicking Amanda off that routine even though Michelle says I can’t keep blaming myself for it. The Next Step seems set for happy changes and I can’t wait to see them. It’s nice to go back to just being Riley whose best friend is Michelle rather than Riley the studio head.

Michelle seems to be hanging out a lot with John right now. I mean more time than usual. Like they have seemed to have fixed things or have just started to talk it all out to try and make way for something more. Much like I did when I started going out with James…hey wait a second!

I think it’s time for me to move on. The Next Step is my home, it’s been my family but I don’t think I have anything I need to achieve more here now.

I’m going to to to business school. It’s been a dream of mine for a while and seeing as I’ve been everywhere with TNS, it’s time for something new. I have James. I have me. I have learnt all kinds of things. It’s not a full goodbye, it’s a see you later. The Next Step is always going to be my home. And I plan on coming back. Just not for a while. I need some space from the studio, and the studio needs some space from me. Yeah, I’m ready for this.


	114. Chapter 114

I'm glad I got to go the dance-athon and support everyone and see just how wonderful my best friend and West are doing as co-studio heads (you forget how much work it can really be!) and how Emily is crushing it, and everything between me and James has been going better than ever and I am not going to slip up again. There's too much of us to lose.

But here's where I need to say goodbye. My future is speeding down the highway faster than ever and I've run out of pages to stop it. I'm sure I'll come back to this and read it whenever I need reminding that I was once a kid with dreams and silly understandings. There's nothing left to say. Not yet anyway. 

 

I guess we'll wait and see what the future has in store.


End file.
